Being on Haight Street can serve as a pretty valid form of unintentional entertainment. You know like seeing the look of shock and horror on tourist’s faces when they get asked by intentionally homeless hippies for weed money. As fun as this can be however, it does get old pretty fast and you’re going to seek entertainment elsewhere.

Where is this elsewhere, you ask? At the one and only Milk Bar on Tuesday nights! Host Eric Barry turned this bar into a comedy venue about a month ago and it’s a great and affordable way to see some bay area stand up comics. If you arrive at 6:45 you can check out the open mic portion of the night. The open mic runs for an hour then at 8:00 the showcase starts. The showcase has three comics who do ten minute sets and then features a headliner. Some of the bay areas hottest (please forgive me for saying that word) stand up comics such as Casey Ley, Miles K., Alex Koll, and Sean Keane have performed there already.

I got to do the showcase the second week it was running and had a good time. The only bummer about this place is the occasional people that walk in and choose to not be so friendly. I mean, hecklers are a thing all comedy venues have to deal with on occasion but the incidents I’ve seen at Milk Bar take the cake. The first week I remember having to deal with two Rastafarians who were waiting for Reggae Night to start and were not enjoying the whole “listening to jokes” thing, because apparently jokes sound nothing like Bob Marley. Then the second week, some loud verbal argument broke out between two drunk men in the middle of a comic’s set. I think what happened was, one guy was yelling at this other guy for being a rude and disruptive audience member so he chose to deal with this man in a rude and disruptive way. Luckily, things have calmed down since then, but just know that as long as people still choose to be insanely drunk on a Tuesday night, incidents like this have a chance of happening.

Basically, if you want to go out on a Tuesday night, how about checking out some live comedy instead of watching that dumb overpriced movie starring those dumb overpaid pretty people? If you arrive before 8 the show is free, after that it’s five dollars. Seriously, only five dollars. For the price of a burrito you can laugh your ass off. Kind of a sweet deal. Stand up comics would love to have you come out. Really. We need the attention, but more importantly, you need to laugh. |Milk Bar| 21+

Every year on St. Patrick’s Day, the Financial District is abuzz with live music and revelers celebrating the holiday, ushering in the warm Spring weather ahead. This stretch of Front Street, in between California and Sacramento streets, right by the Embarcadero Center, is sealed off from vehicular traffic, and is packed to the brim with patrons downing drinks from either Schroeder’s Cafe or Harrington’s Bar and Grill. The crowd is a mixture of fancy dressed professionals unwinding after a long day at the office and those that are clad in more festive green garb. Live music and flowing beer are definite selling points, but just remember that admission is free so it’s best to come a bit early to avoid the rush of the office crowd. Live music usually entails a cover band, so if you’re a fan of classic rock, you’re in the right place.

Celebrating its tenth year in existence, the Annual Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival is a weekend long music festival held in Golden Gate Park that is free to the public thanks to the sponsorship of Warren Hellman. Attracting a crowd of more than 600,000 for the weekend, visitors came in droves, many of which parked and locked their bicycles to every tree along the path to Speedway Meadows. Visitors came to see over 60 acts on six stages over the three day event, with high profile musicians like Elvis Costello, Joan Baez, Indigo Girls, Patti Smith, Rosanne Cash, Randy Newman and Emmylou Harris performing. Along with plenty of music, the festival featured local vendors selling food, non-alcoholic drinks, and merchandise. Alcohol is allowed, but is not for sale on the premises. Plenty of people came prepared with ice chests, blankets, picnic gear, and their dogs to enjoy the festivities, if only it was a little bit warmer. |Hardly Strictly Bluegrass|

Celebrating 40 years in the city, this annual weekend long event draws an estimated crowd of over one million people, all there to show support for tolerance and pride. The festivities include a parade down Market Street, culminating with a massive festival in Civic Center Plaza. The event features live music, food and beverage concessions, a diverse crowd, and plenty of colorful costumes. Admission is free and is open to all ages. |SF Pride|

Right in the heart of North Beach, participants at this Summertime festival in Washington Square will find live bands and vendors selling food and beverages, all in a nice park setting. Unlike the street fairs in other districts, it’s great to be able to sit down on the grass and bask in the sun while watching the performances. On the streets around the park, open only to pedestrian traffic, you’ll find various arts & crafts booths and beer gardens. Admission is free and the festival runs both Saturday and Sunday. Parking is impossible, using public transit is highly recommended. |Event Site|

For over forty years, San Francisco has celebrated the arrival of flowering cherry blossoms with a two weekend long celebration in the middle of |Japantown|. Originally a tradition in Japan called |Hanami| (flower viewing), celebrations there consist of outdoor parties and feasts amongst the blooming trees that can go on until the wee hours. Since the flowers typically only last a week or two on the tree, the cherry blossom is said to symbolize the fleeting beauty of life.

The parade on the last day of the festival begins at the Civic Center, travels down Post Street and ends at Fillmore Street. This year’s parade had its share of taiko drummers, Japanese Animation costume contest winners, and beauty pageant winners, not to mention some impressive |Matoi| twirling. At the tail of the parade, scores of people carrying large barrels of sake make offers of rice wine in anticipation of the staple crop planting season. The festival also features local merchants selling their wares and numerous food venders serving everything from BBQ to ramen noodles. |Nor Cal Cherry Blossom Festival|

For the past 33 years, the Union Street Festival has the been the unofficial beginning of Summer for local residents, ushering in longer days of sun and marking an end to the cold temperatures. Open only to pedestrian traffic, the street is filled with booths selling various types of food, local vendors selling their wares and artwork, a few live music stages, a beer garden on nearly every block, and plenty of Marina scenery. This year’s event was particularly warm, and crowded; the beer was ice cold and the food was extra greasy, fried and delicious. Admission is free and the festival runs both Saturday and Sunday. Parking is impossible, using public transit is highly recommended. |Union Street Festival Site|

On the third Saturday of May for the past 10 years, the Beer and Oyster Festival has been a great daytime drinking event held at the meadow in |Fort Mason|. Clear skies and temperatures in the upper 80s, large cups of Harp Ale and Guinness, raw and barbequed oysters on the half shell, live music, and of course the nice Marina scenery all make for a memorable Springtime event. |SF Beer & Oyster Site|

Live at |The Fillmore

With lyrics like “I saw the future, the geeks were right” and song names like the backwardly titled “Machine in the Ghost” you might think Todd Fink was holed-up underground somewhere awaiting our machine overlords from the future. After a four-year break that involved building their own recording studio and setting up their own label (blank.wav), Omaha’s The Faint return with their newest album Fasciination: ten tracks that will give the listener a variety of lyrics to sit back and think about. The subject matter ranges from profoundly transcendental with “Davey knows we all create the world from in our skulls…” and “what was there before the bang/let’s ask the atheists…” to the sarcastically apologetic with “forget the words I said, I was not myself. I never thought you were psycho…,” yet still manage to stay ironically pop-ish, and fresh.

In finding new electronic sub-niches for Fink to attach his sublime “watch what the humans ruin with machines…” and often bizarre “My mother was filled with popcorn…” lyrics to, the band has come a long way sonically from “Glass Danse,” likely from the newfound freedom of having their own label and studio, as well as personal maturation. The squeaky, distorted bass sounds of “Fulcrum and Lever” and the electro-angelic weeping and digital pops of “A Battle Hymn for Children” represent new and eclectic sonic landscapes for the band, but won’t completely surprise, as the sound is still definitively The Faint. The seemingly endless and lethargically rhythmic dance-groove of “Forever Growing Centipedes” and tweaked-out disco-funk anthem “Get Seduced” are sure to get your body moving and are likely to become welcome additions to the band’s already great live shows.

The Faint’s ability to seamlessly fuse their sometimes electronic-dance-pop sound with conceptually ambitious and dystopian lyrics still remains the key to their dysfunctional charm. However, it’s not clear the band knows which to highlight more, the undeniable dance-ability of their music or the introspective and un-arguably thought provoking lyrics of their lead singer. Fink’s lyrics this time out show more awareness and sensitivity and seem more heartfelt than previous albums (there is a noticeable down-tick in juvenile sexual references), but there are times when the music’s intensity is overwhelming, making the lyrics seem more subtle than they are. The band faces an obvious problem, become more irresistibly dance-able or lyrically compelling and you inherently diminish the effect of the other. For now, however, it seems The Faint are balancing the two just fine. |The Faint|